Life Insights Number One


autumn photos

“A single day is enough to make us a little larger or, another time, a little smaller.”
― Paul Klee

I am writing from the balcony on this nippy November morning. The coffee is steaming while our little village is waiting for the sun to gain its strength. It has been a consistent 24 degrees for the last two weeks. The sun is the central character here nowadays as we approach the sharp winter months that can pierce our life damagingly but today we are enjoying the slow warming up, the beauty of the fog hanging over the blue mountains opposite my apartment.

There is a running theme in my coaching practice in the recent months and I am noticing my softer, gentle approach to this. Instead of trying to fix it with a left-brain, masculine energy, I am curious why this is an issue for my clients. Many of them ask me the same question one way or another: How can I find my balance?

Their words do not disappear in the hollowness when they ask:

  • How do I know when to act and when to stay still and wait for grace?
  • Why am I feeling so unfulfilled despite the successes I have created in the last months?
  • What is this frustration in me after I complete a project and I should be celebrating? Instead, I am thinking about the next “happiness boost”

We all ask these questions, don’t we?

There are possibly a gazillion answers to this dilemma of balance and I can only give one perspective: It is the question of DOING and BEING, the constant inner work in the self-development department. The alpha and omega of all inner tension. The dark and the light in the storm. The two side of the same coin.

The essence of any real growth in your unfolding life is not to understand balance intellectually but to navigate your Doing alongside with your Being so you may find crumbles of balance that shimmers the hope that you are, indeed, on the right track.

Because when your Doing is great, you may not feeeel great…

When you are successful at work, you may struggle with your emotions.

When you tick off an accomplishment, you may still feel empty, unfulfilled and giddy

When you chase a job promotion, another relationship, another place to live (trust me, I know these…), your Being is chasing a deeper truth within you. You may be plastering it with a new geographical location, keep moving up the ladder, find something new to do, they will only be temporary break from the quest your Being has set out: To find itself and live from contentment and your true, best self.

I am a recoverer and an unyielding, willful believer of learning from life’s challenges. As a woman of heart and a coach with high value for intellectual and emotional rigor, I pay a lot of attention to the process of learning from setbacks.

Here is what I know and what I would love you to explore this week and for that let me share a piece of my heart with you (vulnerability warning flags up).

I was sitting in my living room talking to my editor about my book I was working on in the last year and half. I moved countries to do the work I was meant to be doing and it was a dream for decades. Now that I have done it, I inadvertently asked myself: Am I happier? Prouder? Clearer about my work and life direction? Am I living a happy reality I wanted before I started writing the book?  The answer was No. You know why? Because I still wake up unfulfilled, empty and anxious at times. I still question my motives, my impact and quite honestly, my worth.

Maybe less often than a few years ago but I still have work to do in the Being department because what I want is not another book in the market but a story that has not been told before. I do not crave for sassy marketing meetings but a truthful, compassionate, honest approach to life. I want courage, honesty and playfulness to be my everyday companion, not a hitchhiker that comes with me to this beautiful little white village in Andalucia and disappears.

Our Being needs to be addressed, not our Doing if we truly want to make our life count.

Growing our “doing” is easy- getting another job, a degree, a promotion or write a book. It is all great and part of our expansion and we should not disregard our ambitions as a way to expand in our capacity. We should pursue our goals with our whole heart.

However, growing our “being” to be more open, approachable, courageous, honest, humble and in service of others (and please add and substitute any words you would like) is, although less tangible but certainly a more powerful way to grow.

Look at your ambitions, dreams, the things you REALLY, REALLY want right now and ask yourself: When I get that thing, what would it make me as a human being? When I scream for it, what part of me wants to be acknowledged by having that thing accomplished?

I would love to hear from you. Please share your thoughts and reflections here. If you are intrigued to find out how my work can help your Being grow, you can get in touch by booking a free sample session with me here on my online diary:

https://heartsmartcoaching.acuityscheduling.com/schedule.php

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