There are as many reasons for people to become coaches as reasons why some make their love affair into a full time job- it is the topic of Service. Te word that gained prime seat in the arena of coaching, probably as the most overused and underrated word in the self development department. Coaches, motivational speakers, gurus use it free-flowing and it has crept into the vocabulary of catch phrases.
We will get to the word in a while but first let us consider what coaches actually do. I say we coaches do one essential thing- help our clients listen to their heart. Yes, that simple. We let them tune in and listen to the inside noise. In our time together we keep bringing them back to themselves as week after week they meet no one on the road of transformation except themselves.
Listening to your heart is an act of revolution because it is about listening to your body, feeling your emotions fully and put words (or not) to your experience. It is also revolutionary because what you hear inside of you thumping is nothing short of your brilliance. Whether you are going through a failure, a breakdown or an exhilarating success, it is your essence that holds it all up.
What makes a great coach is, however, that one crucial concept that sits in the prime seat- Service. I have been musing over this for many years now. I used to be like everyone else in the training room who said: I want to serve my clients. To be honest, I had no clue what that meant… and this is no secret, I think many coaches had no clue what it meant.
But…(there is always one) there are things I do know about service now.
- Whatever helps you to feel connected, humbled and compels you to check your intentions and sincerity in your work is likely to be a service to your client. I hear this all the time from coaches- I want to become a coach because I want others to flourish. I used to say this, too. Except now I know different. We become coaches because we want to unleash ourselves first. We have work to do, our lives are tangled, messy and we need restoration. When we sign up to be a coach we also sign up for deep self-exploration and as coaches we must have the humility to say this to your clients. We are not all sorted, high flying entrepreneurs but an inquisitive mind and well intentioned heart walking on two legs. When we lead, we say: I do not know where we are going but I am going first!
- Service is not something we tell other people about. It is not a marketing trick we sell using tricky marketing language. It is our essence. It is the fabric of who we are that helps our clients to become more of who They are.
Service is not the product of anything we develop or learn through leadership modules. Service is a deep, heartfelt understanding of what impact we create with our presence. Our sheer being is enough to make a statement, we need no words, concepts, theories or complicated explanations. What we need is to walk the talk, to take the lead from our very essence because when we do that, we are already in the serving business.
- This, in my book, is far the most important thing about service: to know the difference between speaking from Ego and speaking from the Soul. It is the very essence of good coaching. Mastering it takes years of practice, connection and meaningful feedback.
The head voice is not specific to anyone in the service business, we all know this one: This voice is a powerful declaration of Ego. When you speak it, it gives you rights to be angry, intolerant and proud which further enhances your self -importance. You speak with a cold, blaming voice and your madness is only half hidden behind your resentment and denial. You take up beautifully the roles of a problem solver or savior spirit while you deny the remote possibility that you have anything to do with your current state of affairs. You rifle up a war of separation by depicting a power struggle rooted in the past or waiting for the future with hostility, egoism and you think by doing that you are solving or avoiding lurking problems.
The heart voice is a statement of your inherent goodness. What would it take to speak with the voice of your heart and your soul? With your spiritualism you humble yourself that would taint your voice into a friendly, sympathetic tone where you speak not to be heard but to listen to what is being said. With this voice you seek the co-happiness of others as much as your own and you use wisdom and tolerance for others to do so. By embracing “what is” instead of fixing how things should be, you cultivate understanding and build bridges. Altruism is not a virtue we develop, it is an inherent goodness we are all free to access in any situation of our lives. With gratitude, as the unifying principles of connection between your very essence to each vulnerable man and woman you come across, you are truly serving. Because service is humility at its best.
If you are intrigued how I can help you take the journey from your head to your heart, get in touch! My online diary is available here: