Choice is the big, thrilling word in the personal development world, sold as a magic potion that, by definition, will change your life and once you use it and the course of your life will be just as dreamlike as the liberation and freedom you experience in the process. I beg to differ.
Contrary to popular belief, it will not and here is why:
- Our relationship with choice is not part of our schooling and most of do not have it in our DNA just as much as we were not tutored in compassion, courage and vulnerability. We learn and practice as we grow how to choose and each time we make better choices. Most of us have our foot in the belief that “I do not have a choice” (yes, you do), “I only see bad choices in front of me” (look deeper, I say) or any other variation of the aforementioned. I see many people whose dictionary does not have the word CHOICE in it or with very limited meaning while it is full of words like fear, shame, guilt or trap, just to name a few. The truth is, we are more scared of getting to know the word itself than to use it. Choice teaches us responsibility for our aspirations and it scares the living daylight out of most of us. Yet, when practiced well, choice can be deeply transformational.
- CHOICE is, however limiting its use, is a process, an action we must do over and over and over again. Choosing love despite hardships, carrying on with a project despite its mountainous challenges or moving on when we have run out of stamina is what we do and not just once but multiple times.
- Choice is not always a sharp bend between X or Y and it is certainly no throwing away all you know to embrace something totally new. Choice is the process we all need to make friends with if we want to feel responsible and in charge of our lives. Choosing is there for us to sharpen our abilities to see our lives bright eyed and bushy tailed, centred around our values and create what is most important for us.
- The choice that works for you may not work for anyone else. This is fact we are so often blind to especially when we are trying to persuade someone about our own ideas, truths or ideology and we dress it in the cloak of “I am only trying to help you”. Your choice is yours only and those you are “advising”, he will rebel, reject and debate with you. from there you can choose how to respond.
- Choice is ultimately the product of deep self-reflection, understanding and daring to look beyond the obvious. Not one of us are choiceless in the world even if it looks like it and with awareness and a courageous attitude there are always solutions beyond what appears obvious.
Would like to explore this further? Let me help you. My offer this autumn is for 10 FREE sessions called the WILD SESSION designed to help see your choices, possibilities and avenues for change.
Book it here for FREE (worth £250): https://heartsmartcoaching.acuityscheduling.com/schedule.php