I say this wholeheartedly and if you have heard me speaking before, you know by now that I make decisions with my heart and let my brain think through the solution to get to it.
Often times we think we know what is best for us and gear towards the steps we must take. We prepare, plan, manipulate, bargain with life and then we make a decision. And just before it is all set, we find ourselves lost. We face barriers and are no longer able to do what we set out for. At times we are asked to change not out of our own choice but because life has thrown something right in front of us that we need to adapt to. We have to change our route, or use plan B. Or S or Y.
In itself lies a powerful choice: We can choose to stick to our mental rigidity or adapt a flexible mind that understands how we can grow, instead of battle with the universe. We can fight tooth and nail (and get exhausted) or use our brain to help us understand the bigger picture.
Last month I was ready to leave this land I got to love so deeply. I had plans, I was packing boxes, was setting up our life back in London. Then as I was immersing myself in the mental and emotional process of moving back, the universe showed me that it has other plans. So I am staying. And so found myself ….well, anxious, worried, in chaos with my thoughts, fears and heartfelt desires about staying. Why? Because my mind was ready to leave this place I said good bye so many times but my heart felt I still have some unfinished business here. So the universe mirrored that to me by not making it easy for us to move back. Instead, it gave me news that pushed me further away from what I originally planned.
This is the nature of change. It throws us into a frenzy. It makes us feel as if we have no control over our lives and it is true, we don’t. The only thing we have control over is how we respond to change. Change calls for ways to navigate through with our whole being and we can choose what we have always chosen OR we can adapt a more successful strategy. I vote for the latter so here are my tips for a successful change process and yes, you should know by now, the brain has something to do with it.
- The antidote for feelings of chaos (and I seriously questioned my heart about going or staying) is Structure. This is so because chaos is a function of the right hemisphere of the brain. When we are in chaos we feel overwhelmed, anxious, hopeless and even ashamed (all emotions processed by the right hemisphere).
- Structure lives in the left hemisphere (when over-activated, helpful structure becomes unhelpful rigidity, by the way), which can pull us out of chaos and back to a more centered place.A place where we surrender to the decision we make and an overwhelming sense of peace descend upon us. I know you know this one, too, right?
- As we work through what we truly want in this new situation we are facing, we must hold on to a fundamental principle: don’t be unyielding about change, aim for transformation. Every situation we are in is an invitation to transformation. We must learn how to choose our thoughts as we choose our clothes, cars or words. When you choose your thoughts well, you have already made the first successful step towards transformation.
You know at the deepest level what you truly want. When you face change, this deep knowledge can be brought from your unconscious, hidden corner of your heart to the surface of your attention. How cool is that, right? Wait, there is more to this….
- As you bring up what you truly desire, it is pivotal to understand that instead of focusing of what you want to move away from, (which is negative bias) it is far more productive and transformational to keep your eyes on what you want to move towards (which has clarifying, pure energy). It is more important to answer who are you aiming to BE and BECOME than reinforcing what you don’t want any more (and all the negativity of what you are trying to move away from).
Change is the only static in life and as a HeartSmart, I am on a mission to bring clarity to you. I would love for you a successful strategy to navigate through the jungle of change more effectively, more productively and with ease.
I offer 3 things if you are in the middle of change in your life:
- I have my One Hour “Powerful Decisions” session in which I help you find your true heart in the decision you are facing. It is one of my most successful offers, so take advantage of it by booking a session with me here by choosing the powerful decisions option: https://heartsmartcoaching.acuityscheduling.com/schedule.php
- You can sign up for my Life Leaders Coaching programme where in 6 sessions you put your heart back into your life and create a plan that will allow you to make changes in your life based on your heart desires while you understand your powerful brain. Click here to book a free consultation for this here: https://heartsmartcoaching.acuityscheduling.com/schedule.php
- And if you are after a fun-packed, powerful 4 days of playful transformation, have a look at The Playhouse Retreat in September in Andalucia or visit the Retreat page for more details!