Not Deciding is also a Decision

el-torcal41Follow Your Heart…or  shall I, really?

Follow Your Heart is perhaps the most romantic advice available in the self-development market nowadays. It looks great, it dares you and it stretches you beyond the nitty gritty of daily life. Well, at least it has done for me on many occasions.


It can also make you do things that are pure irrational, reckless and throw you into your very own trap of mindlessness.


What does following our heart really means — it’s something that you do by giving your desire more importance than your rational, linear thinking. An impulse. A step beyond your comfort zone. A scary dare or a deep, slow melting into unexplainable territories gladly. While following hearts has many faces, it is an unconscious choice but a choice, nevertheless.


I am an incorrigible believe that we followed our heart that could change the world. And I am not talking about solving the problem in the Middle East. I am convinced that if we followed our hearts we would dare to create our own jobs, we would operate on honest policy with each other in our daily communication. Oh, and we would definitely be more open, tolerant and accepting of others.

While following hearts can be liberating, it is daunting just as much. Why? Because it is romantic to think that we are born with some ancient knowledge that switches on, like a dim light in your newly installed bathroom when you enter and you need it.


The truth is, we need to learn. We must learn if we want to live with our hearts in peace.

We must learn how to read our own mind, how to make sense of other’s impact on us. What it means to come out of our own shell. What is means to claim who we are in this big, crazy wonderful world where at times our voice disappears in the distance like a scream amongst the rocks.

We must learn and we do that by getting to know our brain intimately well. No, not just in a superficial sense, I mean having a deep, solemn look at your thoughts and decide: Is this how I want to think? Is this thought really serving me right now? Am I feeling Ok by running on these thoughts?


There must be a reason why we are one of the most intelligent species on earth. There must be a reason why our brain’s capacity exceeds itself and we have learnt more about the human brain in the last decade than in the last hundred years. In fact, the more we learn about it, the less certain we are that we actually know anything at all!

You know me; I have been a huge fan of thinking. It has served me well in my life, I build my business around smart, intentional thinking and I thrive on understanding. I love understanding, analysing and making sense but only recently I am beginning to see why I love this process so much. It is because it helps me access the greater questions of my life. It points me to find my own inner truth and wisdom, however you call it. It, essentially, helps me figure myself out so I can become more conscious in the world and the way I work, relate to people, parent, love and write.


I have spent years through therapy, leadership programmes, neuroscience and writing figuring out the what-s, how-s and why-s of life. I have lived gingerly because I could not bring forth what my heart was saying and you know why? Because my brain was stopping me all along. It was and at times still is, like driving at full speed with the hand break on.


Hearts are beautiful. And so are our minds! The truth is, when we live from one something will suffer. Live from the abundance of both, there you go, that is where you find your treasure. Your smart thinking will serve your emotional growth. Your skills, sharp, astute and powerful will open up your being to others. Your intellectual strengths will become your anchors so our heart can become a little more vocal.


So here is the deal- your heart may know a lot of things but your brain can talk you out of it. Your mind might be brilliant but if you keep the wholeness of your life to yourself, your being will suffer. I know this too well, believe me, I do. This is why I am writing this. As our days are counted and I am becoming more and more aware of the inevitable truth that it is going to end at some point out of my control, I want to make sure that what I do with it and in it makes sense. That what I create is meaningful. I want to make decisions that are helping me progress, not keeping me in the glorious arena of stuckness.


And this is what I want for you, too. As my brilliant business coach reminded me last week (we all need occasional reminding however smart we might think we are) :  Henrietta, this is what you do so well! You help people make great decision! Decisions that changes their life. Decisions that put the missing puzzles in.


So this is what I want for you: How would it feel to make a heart-drenching, soul satisfying smart decision? How would you feel if you woke up one morning after a sleepless night of trying to figure out what to do with your job, your relationship knowing that there is a solution? And it is right inside of you? How would you really feel if your rich, powerful mind could work with your abundant, sensitive heart?


Curious? Drop me an email at, el-torcal41 I would love to help you with my “Decision Time” one off call I am offering to those tired of not making the most empowering decisions in their life.


It is for you if you want to stop stagnating, rotating in the same problem and need clarity and simplicity to move forward. It is for you if you are done with thoughts that are eating you away and ready for thoughts that will bring the piece of your life together.


I would love to connect with you!


To your HeartSmart life


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