I love spring. The fresh, cold air in the morning, the sun gaining strength by the hour, the blue mountains turning into green by mid- morning remind me of the constancy of change. Some things go, others stay as they should and as we choose what we need, we craft our lives.
It is the same with thoughts and emotions. While all of them teach us something new about ourselves, at times we must decide which ones we wish to keep. I have a habit of cleaning my emotional household every once in a while, especially when I feel stuck, small, unfulfilled or just generally blablahh about my next steps.
I dedicated the past three years to understanding why intelligent, talented people stagnate and settle for unsatisfying work and life. I learnt that we all have a heart driven desire we wish to pursue, have great ideas that linger in our brain long enough to bother us but never make it to the real world. We know we want to create life of freedom, run projects, do our heart work and make a life instead of making a living…yet, we feel stuck.
I would like to help you today with one thing that can be a game changer for you as they have been for me. Yes, you know me by now; it is to do with the brain, indeed.
Thoughts are powerful engines and they can run or ruin our lives. Thoughts influence our moods, lay down foundations for our emotions and dictate how we show up in the world. Today I would like to bring your attention to three thoughts that are undeniably essential to master: Assumptions, Judgements or Expectations.
Let me explain.
Assumption, my old time favourite, is a thought I know intimately well. I run on assumptions I make about a lot of things, people, situations, ideas, projects. When I assume, I give no space or credit to those people or situations. I assume why people do not call me back. I assume why my next business offer will not survive before I actually launch. I assume that there is not enough time for x, y and z. I feel defeated before I even consider making a move.
Assumptions are toxic thoughts because they lock us in. Worse yet, they cut us off from deep, soul drenching relationships with others who could be potentially collaborators in our next steps. Assumptions lead us to isolation and make an emotional impact of turning us into suspicious, fearful and small selves. No good, you might say but wait until you encounter Judgement, the cousin of Assumption, only a bit tougher.
Judgement is raw, brutal and the most certain partner in making you feel like an outsider. We judge ourselves way more than we judge others, although self-judgement is ever so subtle that it often goes unnoticed. We judge silently and cruelly or openly in confrontations. And what we judge says more about us than how we judge.
Expectation, another merry fellow, has his ways in with us. It makes us wait and wait some more. It helps us delay a phone call, a tough conversation. Expecting means putting important things on hold, delaying vital progress, setting standards so high that we run out of energy to even take the first step. Expectations alienate us from others and lead to perfectionism…but that is another post.
So the next time you feel stuck, small or just blahablahh about your next step in life or at work, ask yourself:
Is my thought an assumption?
Is it a judgement?
Is it an expectation?
And if you are willing to work with these thoughts, here is what I do:
I help you identify, simplify and untangle complicated though processes so you can focus on using your power instead of blind spots, your natural gifts instead of your default positions.
Working with me will set you on a clear, courageous path where you do what you love, you work with heart and connect to others with your whole being.
Ready to try? Email me with a request for a free, no obligation session at firstname.lastname@example.org
Not sure yet? Here is what other said about my work:
“Henrietta’ s coaching is loving and intelligent”
“She is a dynamite! She calls me forth when I am stuck, she holds me when I am weak and she challenges me on my deepest level. I loved working with her because she is sincere, always honest and is not scared of tapping into my strength in a way I could not have been able to do myself!”
“Smart, couragous and deeply honest!”
“Henrietta is a rare find! She is funny, playful and within three sessions I got to a place in my life where therapy could not bring me in five years! Oh…and her cheekiness? It is contagious!”