It is nearly 10pm. I am listening to the birds cackling away, watching the sun crawling into the subdued Andalucian sky. Ronda, perching neatly on the mountain, starts shimmering with an orange tint. The universe feels peaceful out there and while I am eating fresh figs on the balcony I understand for a split second why living from the heart is not an option any longer. It is a must.
Here are my reasons.
There is no perfect place where you can create what you want
It is a human predicament to find excuses why we cannot do something we really want to do. You say: I will start x,y and z when I live in my ideal location, I am married, single, have financial security, my kids grow up…
We both know you will not.
As I am waking up to fresh mountain air in one of the prettiest towns of Andalucia, my excuses to choose my heart daily still tiptoe around. Obstacles live within us- doubts, questioning, fears of failure and success, insecurities. My inner conditions are not dependant on whether I am hiking in Spain or coaching in London. It is about how I feel inside.
Contentment is an inside job. So is the calling of your heart. Go for it from wherever you are.
2. “As you walk, the path appears” (Rumi)
Believe me, I have never felt so disorientated than on the cruise ship from Portsmouth to Santander just over three months ago. Not because I was seasick but because I wobbled on the ship with no certainty ahead of me, a place I could call home or knowing all the answers.
As we stepped off the ship and drove across Spain, my heart just knew that every brick I have to step on will appear in its own time. Life has not failed me since. As you take your first step, trust that your path will appear, brick by brick.
3. Do not be Afraid of Losing Control
Your mind never gets you anywhere. While it does helps to execute the logistics of your dream it is in the loosening of the grip that allows Life to offer you things out of your peripheral vision. Give yourself this gift, open your mind and let your heart bring you what you need so you can live with a wider horizon.
For those of you, like me, who love their logical mind, want to know the next steps, at times still think we are responsible for the stage management of the universe, forget it. The only time I have made any strides was when I trusted Life more than I trusted myself.
This way, amazing people entered my life who are holding my hand while I write my book. They help with the children, offer me their wisdom and share their hearts so I can remember mine.
Challenge Your Own Fears
I have moved here not knowing a single soul. I was fearful of illnesses, loneliness and lack of opportunities. After several hospital visits with my kids, anxious nights and vulnerable days I now understand that fear is hardly real. It is only an alarm in our amygdala, trying to help us survive.
When you work with your mind and look fear in the eye with your heart open, you drive into whole new world. At times it is rock terrain, other times it is a scenic route but there, underneath your shield of your own fear you find raw courage! Trust it, it is there!
5. Do not be tossed away
You want to be independent, full of joy and purpose. Your dream job, life or your soul mate is calling you. You know it in your heart but the moment you articulate it, a little voice start speaking: “Yes, but…” anything that comes after the “but” is an excuse, a negative bias or lack of commitment.
Watch your “but-s” and do not let yourself be tossed away by them. Follow your heart, focus on what you are creating and ignore the noise that tries to divert you. If you get tossed away in little moments, your whole life gets tossed away by the end.
6. Stand Up with Your Whole Heart
Showing up with our whole heart is all we need. Trusting that what we create in the world is changing it in small ways for the better. Claiming what we need to make it all happen.
Do you want to leave your cosy corporate job? You need more freedom? Are you after more adventure in your life? Money to start your business? Your partner’s support? A new business premise? Want to be with your soul mate? Start your own school?
Ask for it. Ask for what you need with your whole heart.
I confess that doing it imperfectly and let others see me sweat has never been easy for me but now I am convinced that it is the effort that gives us our own spine, not perfection.
7. Write your Own Story.
I have seen far too many people living the life others have dreamt up for them. I was one of them. When you choose your heart, you honour your own story. Do not strive to be a copy. Do not fit in. Live and write your own story.
Dare to be a non-conformist. Dare to be all that makes you human- fail, keep trying, be vulnerable and scrupulously honest.
In one of my favourite cafés in the old part of Ronda you get a sugar sachet with a quote on it with your coffee. Today’s quote was: “Nobody gets to live life backward. Look ahead, that is where your future lies” Ann Landers