“Every time a wave comes, I jump into it and I say Freedom!” (Ibrahim Masroor, my son, age 6)
Last Friday I made the beach my office. Sitting under a straw canopy on the pebbled beach watching my favourite people building a sandcastle I began to sink into my fear of being lonely and isolated here in Andalucia. I felt disconnected from the world. Like the mountains of Ronda, I felt I was standing alone and it scared me.
The waves were getting lumpier, the sea was unsettled and I feared I would pack my bag and return to London. It felt too hard to be alone on this beautiful land, fight the multiple illnesses of the kids, finding peace with my work and running our life alone. In moments like this you do not expect your 6-year old to mesmerize your heart and give you the boost to carry on. My son did. I looked up and saw him, standing in the sea. His skinny little body was full of life while he was daring the waves, occasionally peeping back whether I was trying to stop him. When he managed to conquer a huge wave, he came running. “Mummy, every time a wave comes, I jump into it and I say: Freedom! “
What do I say when a wave comes at me? What do I shout when a challenge hits me in life? -I thought and I realised that he reminded me of the greatest lesson with his one sweet little sentence that coaching, leadership and personal growth trainings was trying to do for years. When a wave comes, just say freedom!
You see, life does not ask our opinion when we have a hurdle standing in front of us but we always have a choice how to respond. My challenge is to be living alone and I can shrink, pack up and leave or I can say “Freedom” and see what this challenge asks me to grow into.
What challenge are you facing in your life right now? Think of one specific one- be it business related or personal. You got it? Not yet?
While you are thinking about it, I want to thank my son for reminding me that by naming what we fear most is the key to the next successful step. In this period in my life I fear loneliness the most. And I am choosing to look at it straight in the eye, only to discover the freedom it offers. I see real people who want to connect with me. I smile at the random message on Facebook from someone who wants to visit Ronda and meet me. I see friends, who deeply care about how we are here planning their visit. I see messages of support coming through. All I needed to do was to name the fear of being lonely.
So, back to your challenge. What are your fears about it? Name them loud and clear! Is it lack of confidence? Indecisiveness? Loneliness? Fear of rejection? Failure? Success? Imperfection? Other people’s opinion? Vulnerability?
You never really conquer fear; you just walk towards it to bring out your courage. By naming your fears you diminish their power because fears are old thought patterns, deep trenches. Nothing else. I fear loneliness because I have done almost everything in my life alone and I know for certain that it is not pleasant. I want connection with people, deep, heartfelt connection. Soul touching conversations, where we are not hiding but let our hearts speak. Hearts are not supposed to be standing in the cold, shivering. They are destined to be with other hearts, warm, loving, supporting and I want more of this in my life.
Naming your fears will give you the freedom you need to think and choose new thoughts you want to use instead of the negative ones you associate with your fears. This is where neuroscience based coaching can help to reframe, replace and refresh your mind so you can focus on what is important in your life!
I am reminding myself that it is a choice. We can run from the wave or we can jump into it and say “Freedom”.
Are you ready to work with your fears to create your new venture, business or find a dream to make happen? Please get in touch with me, I would love to work with you! If you have a story about conquering a fear, please share it with us! We would love to learn from your experiences!
Until next time, keep your heart and mind open.