8 ways to shut our hearts


Building a heart-centred, authentic life starts with awareness of where we are in our personal journey. Most of us have the yearning to live deeper from the heart but not many of us are clear about where to start and how to go about the steps we need to take to achieve that. Being heart aware is an important step; cultivating more heart –centred life is an active process. Working through my book, living through my stories and my client’s stories and paying attention to my own heart, I started experiencing some of the ways we tend to lock up our heart out and reject a more heart-centred existence.

Denying our heart is one of the most common characteristics of people who are yearning for heart-centred living. We consciously or subconsciously deny that our heart is an equally intelligent and a capable organ to make decisions as our mind. While I do celebrate intellectual rigour, I disagree with intellectual arrogance where brilliant minds claim that they have all the answers. I am convinced that heart-centred people, even though they may not be the beacon of intellectual reasoning, are authentic, real and demonstrate an incredible ability to live heart qualities and lead their life from character because the heart is the place of compassion, love and knowing unexplainable truths.

Avoiding our heart is an endemic disease of our society. We are compelled to treat our hearts as less of a priority than our job or the lists of things to do costing us our relationships and overall satisfaction and contentment in life. We are trained and asked to operate from structures and frameworks that are prefabricated for us and by doing this we become less and less authentic in our choices and the way we live our life. We are conditioned and institutionalized on a daily basis and this is detrimental to our hearts because the heart is the place of authenticity and essence.

Resisting our heart shows up when we opt out from listening to its whispers. So many of us are walking dreams, ideas and aspirations on two legs but our mind and conditioning tells us that dreams are meant to be thought about but not lived. Once you find your passion in life and identify what you will bring to the world by following your passion, it will niggle you until you satisfy your yearning. You can quiet the heart but you cannot silence it because the heart is the place of our dreams and aspirations for our life.

Resigning from our heart happens by resisting our hearts on a daily basis as we slowly disconnect from it. By not cultivating heart qualities, neglecting what our heart is signalling, we slowly disconnect form the essence of who we are. We accept that the heart is a second-class citizen and we treat it that way. This often leads us to a terrible spiritual and emotional burn out and cuts us from the possibilities of moving forward because the heart is the place of wisdom and truth.

Explaining our heart is easy; feeling what is going on in our heart is a harder but much more rewarding job. There are so many people who are brilliant with words, incredibly articulate with concepts but utterly illiterate in emotions. People who can discuss emotions but reject feeling them will struggle to connect themselves to their heart because heart is the place of connection.

 Being right often becomes more important to us than acting from heart when we build relationships at home or at work. We do not open up to the willingness to understand others because that makes us vulnerable and feel defeated. Wanting to be right is not a heart-centred approach to relationships and it disconnects us from others. Being disconnected creates distance and this result in dissatisfaction because the heart is the place of peace.

Finding a blame – when our heart is tested, our brain is active in explaining why someone else is responsible for our hurt, loss or any other emotions. We blame others for our anger, our failure or emptiness. By succumbing to this mindset we refuse to take responsibility for ourselves and face where and why we have failed. When we ask the question of “how am I responsible for this” we connect to the heart because the heart is the place of courage and responsibility.  

Being a martyr is a synonym for playing the victim. The mind is absolutely brilliant in explaining why, why not and how we were treated undeservedly. The heart knows where we failed and when the heart takes charge and we let it guide us, it navigates with wisdom, real power and with no judgements. Our heart knows our innermost powers and impact in the world because the heart is the place of influence, impact and true leadership. True leaders are always driven by their strength of character and heart and through this they make an authentic, heart-driven impact in the world.

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