“A change in heart is the essence of all other change and it is brought about by the re-education of the mind!” (E. P. Lawrence)
Wherever we are in our life, there is always another place to go – I say often to my clients and friends. Our journey is about constantly making efforts to grow into our better self. To grow we often need to readjust and this comes with change- either we actively change something or things happen and create the need for change in circumstances, the way we are dealing with loss or dealing with a broken relationship.
Before you jump from this article, let me tell you, I am not scared of change. I have been terrified of it! I am one living example of a scaredy cat that used to be holding on to feelings, thoughts and used to reflect, ponder and consider the steps I needed to take for insurmountable amount of time! Perhaps this is why I love working with people who are after some change in their life!
Change is one of the most rewarding processes- the process of evolving. It is useful to ponder but it is more valuable to evolve from a situation.
The psychology of change is deep; it is hard to stomach and stretches us beyond what we think we can do. Change can also be hard, delicate, fragile and chaotic. Change is endless and constant. We have no choice in the matter except mastering our ability to adapt and learn!
Change is at the heart of coaching. I love seeing people go through the process and come out on the other side evolved! There are number of change theories available in the field of neuroscience, coaching and human development that support a deeper, better understanding how to understand and go about change (please get in touch if you are interested in any of them, I would love to talk to you!). But all of them would point us essentially to one elemental truth: Changing the way we ask our questions will change the way we evolve and grow in life or at work.
When we are stuck we tend to engage in an inner narrative about a certain situation or person. In the process of change we can start asking different questions and find objective views on the situation that will certainly support us to create the shift we need.
This new way of questioning demands us to go beyond preconceived ideas, self-perpetuating stories and by practicing resistance to change we are only losing the battle. When we resist change we feed our fear, victimhood and negativity. When we open up to change, we feed positivity, learning and growth!
So make a list of all the things you want to change in your personal of professional life. List small or bug changes you wish to create and start asking your questions differently:
- How does my current situation help me clarify what I really want?
- How can I make it a small deal and not a Big Deal?
- How can I appreciate myself in this situation?
- What am I grateful for in this situation? What are the blessings?
- What are my opportunities here?
“Those who cannot change their mind, they cannot change anything!”- goes the saying and it is really that simple. If we want to create better situations for ourselves, WE need to change because things do not change unless we do.