I did not dare to look down. I was holding myself with incredible power on the joist and I thought of the depth underneath me. There were 15 meters between me and my fears. Up on the top it was only me and God. I silently sang the mantra made up of all the synonyms for “scaredy cat” but I had no choice- the end of the joist was 9 meters away and there was only one way to come down: walk over to the other side.
And in that few minutes I found the most amazing gift life could offer me: as I started to take one step, and another and another, and another and I understood for a split second what life is about. Success is in all of us, we just have to take each step with raw power, sheer determination and chanting God’s name. He is the strength, He is the power, He is the solution and He is the journey. He is the aim as well as the support. After each step I stopped and breathed in appreciating the step I just took. Before the next step I made the intention to try and asked Him to help me stay on the joist. This stopping and starting allowed me to find my inner core, the integrity we all have and it balanced me to stay on without falling down. This core, this anchor is holding all of us but we need to know where this place of courage lies in us. As I moved along the 9- meter joist in small but consistent steps I understood how life works: that He has given me the chance by gifting me with life and to test myself- I can choose to fail or I can try and succeed. At any point on that walk before the next step I could choose success or failure. Once I decided that my leg is moving towards success, my core courage started to work and I stayed on that joist until the end.
The blindfold was beginning to loosen but I decided to keep my eyes shut as I have been doing all the way up the pole and along the joist. I just switched my mind off, that great analytical mind of mine that knew exactly how high I was, how scary it all looked, how big the fall potentially can be, how awful I would feel if I did fall. I just squeezed my eyes and got back to my core courage again. I suddenly found that hearty, open and powerful place in me that has been dormant for a long time. My heart was racing but I never felt so alive! Every muscle in my body was working perfectly. Every part of me was pulsating with life! I was excited about living again with immeasurable joy! I did not care about the joist any longer! I started to feel the sun rays piercing through my clothes and warming me up. I no longer cared whether I would make it to the end or not, I just really, really enjoyed the moment and felt incredibly liberated! I was vibrating life and got to know a part of me I never knew existed.
When I reached the end of the joist, I threw myself off it backwards. The world stopped existing and it was the most amazing feeling to fall into nothingness. In my core I felt emptied and surrendered to gravity. The harness pulled me out of my serenity and got me down to my team gently and lovingly.
My 7 life lessons
1. When you are walking through your fear you have no choice but to find yourself, your core courage and decide with each move: Do you want to fail or succeed?
2. At times it pays to go blindfolded. In life we are often better off with the blindfold on, not seeing our realities (that would suck us in) but simply walk forward towards success.
3. When you find the rhythm, your own rhythm, you have found the solution. That is all God wants us to do. He will then remind us of our core strength and support us to go through anything in life.
4. When you wobble in life, just remember that core courage and the strength God has given you. At every step before big decisions think that you want to succeed. Then move towards your goal and allow God to support you.
5. We find our hearty, open and powerful part of us in situations which we feel we have no control over. This is just the simple truth that can make us or break us.
6. Often our mind would let us down by analysing too much or providing far too much information. Our heart guides in a different way. The heart’s way is not better or worse, just different. At times we need to switch off the mind so that we can switch on the heart’s sounds and guidance.
7. When we fall or fail in life, make sure you throw yourself into the nothingness after you have made all your efforts. You will never be left alone and God is going to provide the harness.