Emotional Vampires


Clients often ask me how I use my intuition. I do have a very strong intuition and I use this in my work abundantly, most of the time successfully. The more I reflect on this, the more I realize that we all have and need to use our intuition to know how to make heartsmart choices in life.

So what is intuition? It is a non-linear voice that brings messages on how to proceed with someone or something in our life. It is a quiet voice, a few times a shout, but it is always the voice of the heart trying to tell you what is the right thing to do.

Our mind, however, pushes this voice into submission and we talk ourselves into rationale, logic and make decisions based on our mind.

I know, I know, you corporates are saying that all decisions have to be based on rationale. True, but every decision has an emotional base and if you REALLY dig deep and look at your decisions (big or small ) in life, you know where your heart was involved, right? I thoughts so….

When you interact intuitively you pick up signals from the people around you. These signals are extremely useful for us to know where we find energy and where we find drain. The aim is to build relationships with people we have a healthy energy flow, therefore we not only build up our own energy but we can freely give them our resource of it.

There are clear signs to look for energy in others

1. The carry a warm sense of compassion and safety

2. You feel intuitively safe and relaxed and want to be closer to them

3. They carry a peaceful glow

4. You feel better around them (your optimism increases)

Negative energy makes you tired, sick and your emotional wellbeing is at risk. This is all invisible and can it wear you out without you being aware of it.

Now, the real learning is that whatever energy we carry will attract similar type of energy in our life, therefore it increases or decreases our success rate in life including relationships, business and friendship. ( For more on attracting energy see my posts on neuroscience)

When we find those who have positive energy, our relationships deepen, our life becomes more joyful and we feel energized. When we are surrounded by people who have negative energy, call them Emotional Vampires, our vibration changes.

Emotional vampires, by definition, are people who suck your energy dry. You need to use your intuition to feel the change in your energy level. Your linear mind will try to talk you out of it but you can feel a little seasick, think you have flu or just simply tired when you are with someone. There are mystery signs you have no idea what to do with. Most vampires do not know what they are doing; some of them are more brutal.

Judi Orloff uses the following types of emotional vampires. Take an inventory of your life, see who is serving you and who is draining your energy.

1.The sob sister

Whining, victim, world is to blame for unhappiness, often saying “…yes…but…”, not interested in a solution, complaining about the problem over and over again.

2.The blamer

He/she has a sneaky way to make you feel guilty, berates you, provides endless serving of guilt, verbal abuse, is more overtly angry than the sob sister, often saying “ it is your fault, if it was not for you….”, sends invisible bullets, you get wounded while he/she remains self-righteous.

3.The drama queen/king

This vampire has a flair for exaggeration, life is extreme, flinging form one crises to another, chaos, need for attention, “Oh My God, you never guess what happened”, making up or breaking up with someone, hysterical behaviour, panics about work situations, high energy.

4.The constant talker /joke teller

With no interest in your feelings, his story, jokes and opinion is the only thing that is interesting, seem entertaining, does not stop joking, addicted to his own voice, passive aggressive, with no sense of boundaries, no consciousness that they invade your space.

5.The fixer upper

A person who makes you her therapist she wants YOU to fix her problem. Other signs are: tyrannical neediness and you take him/her on as a project. This can eat up years of your life. You see his/her potential and it is your role to help them to fulfil that potential. Most times the person stays the same but we can get hooked up.

6.The outwardly nice socialiser

Someone who is confusing, there is nothing obvious about him/her, they are a dimmer for your energy, you start fading.

7.The go for the jugular evil person

Conscious of what they are doing, purposefully done to cause harm, vindictive, no consideration for your feeling, envy, competition or sever insecurity. Using language like “Forget him,  he is way out of your league, you are not material for that job….”. They are motivated by negativity and darkness to make themselves feel better.

8.Crowds that drain

Overwhelming energy on your sensitivity, you usually feel totally empty when you leave this crowd.

9.Unintentional sapper

People we love most but they do not mean it-like kids, mates, spouse…etc. You pedal with life but you cannot cope after a while. Those who are regular in our life but they do not mean to be emotional vampires.

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One thought on “Emotional Vampires

  1. I’m reminded of a book called the Celestine Prophecy. I only read the first one in the series but it said much the same sorts of things. I think we all have vast resources of energy. Sometimes circumstances force us to use that energy to survive, what happens next is that your ties to people on the periphary of your life tend to be weakend or lost. Humans being forgetful, have to be reminded that once the survival phase is negotiated, it is time to thrive again. I hope everyone reads this post you have written.

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